The white stuff

Every year it happens. Winter starts, I’m thirty miles from home, at the top of a hill and wearing flip flops, and nobody had told me about it. Yesterday the first snow fell on my under dressed shoulders as they, along with the equally unprepared rest of me, my feet being the most keen to carry on kidding themselves it was still summer having insisted on riding two hours in the pouring rain then the sleet then hail then the proper cold white stuff without putting their smurf shoes on. In the weather’s defence though it wasn’t so much that the snow was falling from the clouds on to me as me having gone up to the cloud to meet it; more a case of me intruding into the weather’s day rather than the other way around. It wasn’t even proper snow really, just that kind of not quite ready stuff like the frothy first pull on the bar pump when a new beer barrel’s been put on. It felt like I’d turned up at Winter’s house before she’d finished getting dressed and she’d anwered the door in her curlers and dressing gown with a sigh of it’s not you, it’s me; I’m just not ready to settle yet. Maybe I’ll give it a couple of weeks and catch her on a better day next time.

I don’t know why I’m always surpised by the arrival of the cold weather. I can look at the weather forecast, although I suspect the boffins in Exeter just look out of the window of their South Devon office and simply knock off a couple of degrees of temperature and add a couple of mph of wind speed to draw up the Pennine chart. I can look out of my own window but I lack the view to see what is happening a thousand feet feet above my house and three hours in the future. I can look at the calender but I’ve frozen half to death in June and sat in the garden soaking up rays in February. Maybe in the back of my mind I expect a phone call from Brailsford telling me to put your coat on sonny and not to take it off until he phones again in May. Ben Swift, supporter of the charity ride I was taking part in may have got that call from big Dave but I was probably too fast for him to catch me up and pass on the message. Well, OK maybe not. It is more likely part psychological reluctance to face up to the end of summer and part failure to remember where I put the warm gear I bought in the sales last spring, and when I do find it part horror at how all the ice cream I ate in my summer holidays seems ironically incompatible with the italian sizing of the stuff which I’m sure fitted back at Easter that means I’m always so unprepared.

After the rain, after and hail and sleet and snow, and after the lady making the coffee at the village hall half way around told me you do have to go on you know, you can’t stay here the sun came out but there are less tangents to go off on from that and anyway my feet stayed cold. The rider who founded the ride on Saturday took a knock to his cycling but it was cycling which he credits with helping to get back on his feet as well. Keen as I was on riding my bike as a youngster I was never made of the stuff that folks like him and riders such as Swift are made off. The Chemo Classic however is all about celebrating being alive and riding bikes and if you’ve got those two things, and not only that but can ride now and again with people who know more about both of those things than you do, then wet feet are just a detail.



  1. ragtimecyclist

    No snow yet here in Lancashire but i’m sure it’s on it’s way. I have to say, it’s a a bit harsh when the lady in the cafe is telling you to crack on…i presume she felt you’d been nursing your brew too long!

    • northernbike

      I think a few of us must have looked like we might be staying there until the bus came through on Monday after we’d had a couple of refills and still had our bare feet pressed on the radiator

  2. Human Cyclist

    “Winter starts, I’m thirty miles from home, at the top of a hill and wearing flip flops, and nobody had told me about it.”

    Excellent my favourite line of all cycling blogs for quite some time. Somehow I imagine you at the top of the hill, peeking over your sunglasses from beneath your straw hat, pina colada in one hand, staring at the sky and thinking, “Really?”

    Time for tin foil, cling film and other such homemade British measures!

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